|The past few months have been very strange. It took me a long time to work out that when Pixel went into the ground I wouldn’t see her any more. When they first put her down there I couldn’t understand it and ran to her bed in the house to see if she was there, then ran back outside to the big pile of earth. I was certain I could smell her but surely she wasn’t under the ground?
I was very sad. I don’t remember a day when I hadn’t spent at least some of the time with Pixel, in all my life here. She was always there, and used to tell me off when she thought I was being a pain. She taught me so much. She showed me all the best places to dig, how to kill rats, how to look hungry to get treats She showed me that the loud whirry thing that the boss pushes around the carpet wasn’t anything to be afraid of and she always went in front of me to investigate new objects, dogs and people. I remember when I was frightened of the big yellow digging machine with claws which was in the field, she ran up to it and jumped on it to show me there was nothing to worry about. She was so calm and safe to be with and took care of me.
I missed her so much that I really didn’t know how to cope for a while. I wanted to be with the boss all the time and really didn’t want to be on my own, even with Arthur, because he’s fun but doesn’t make me feel safe like Pixel did. There was no dog to look up to anymore and I started to mess about and I suppose for a while I was not really being a good dog and was acting a bit daft. I didn’t know what else to do.
A few weeks ago it started to dawn on me that someone needed to take over where Pixel had left off. I’d always waited for her to bark at the door so we could go in but of course she couldn’t anymore and I stood outside for ages before I dared to give it a try. It worked! So now Arthur waits for me to bark so we can go in. I’ve decided to be calmer and more grown up generally. Pixel was the sensible one so perhaps I ought to be like that too. Playing with Arthur is fun sometimes but I don’t do it as much as I used to and I tell him off when I think he’s being irritating. I can’t help chasing him sometimes though and it’s great when he flies round the garden panting and squealing as I dive onto him.
For weeks I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in Pixel’s bed but the other day I went into it for the first time and it just felt right, and close to her. Life is good and I’m going to make the most of it.